Days, months, years have elapsed. From the time life has started, to this place where life has bought all of us, we have come a long-long way. Most of us had planned to come out and so we are out. Others are those who from the time have known things, always, have desired stay out of India/home come what may. Some of us have come out by-chance; and most of us due to 3 reasons Education, Career and Marriage. No matter how far we have reached today in our lives, there is always an emotion that flows in our heart when we think of the place from where all started. Trust, Heart has no control over the mind when we think of how it all started. Let us travel take back to the place from everything begin – HOME.
This is a work of fiction and is dedicated to all my friends, loved ones who have come so far from their home that coming back to home is a task that can be fulfilled at a high cost. Imagine you staying in Canada, wanting to come home to India. Search for freedom has put us into a lot of bondages. Taking leave from the place I work and if I get one it is limited; cost involved in come home and so on. But no matter what, we all do find the time to get back home.
Our first step out of home: From the time we are born, the coziest place that we all lived is in the lap of our mom. That was the world to all of us. Then as we grow, we move to the first place out of our home – School. Those first days out of our home were so difficult. The new faces that we saw horrified us. We all wanted to go back. And when the school is over, we used to rush and jump into our loved ones. The warmth of the love, is still felt, when we close our eyes. It felt so secured. Whether they are around us or not they will always pray and protect us.
I love my papa. I am a papa’s girl. Words are inadequate to explain the chemistry between a dad and a daughter. There are only a few people who can experience this love. The first love of any women in this world is his father. Likewise, a son is always most attached to his mother. For a father the love of the daughter is the most unconditional love. Everyone would say her she can’t but it is the father who always believes in her daughter and if she has made it big it is because of his papa. There have been times when in our childhood we have been very naughty. Some time our papa did scold us. We would be so hurt that until and unless he does not come and gives us love nothing in the world could comfort us. In good or bad times, long after you cannot see him around, just close your eyes and you could see him telling you ‘ Come on beta you can do it.’ He will never give up on you.
That home where we stayed, had no great convenience, but the comfort that it gave us is something that we cannot get anywhere in the world. It was small, just a fan, wooden bed and erratic electric supplies, but we slept in peace. During hot seasons, it was the silent breeze that made us lull in the sleep. Before going to sleep those “Jugnu”, used to illuminate the surrounding. Cold season was so freezing and we use to have ‘angithi’ burning to get the warmth. We stayed together, Mom, Dad, Grandpa, Grand Ma, Uncle, Aunty; and no matter how much their views differed, it was the seniors in the family who use to bring all together. Today, as nuclear families we are so far, that our children are devoid of the love of the entire family.
Those old friend, who we made unconditionally, without knowing their cast-creed, income level, status still remain with us. All the new friends come and go, but the old ones remain and do feel for you. We may not have seen them for years but when we go back to the native, the love and care they show is something that we will never find anywhere. New friend, announces a party, you will find friends coming around you like bee in beehives. When you are in trouble, they find it difficult to find time for you.
The first crush, that boy you followed you home. That nervous moment when you first felt him around. That birthday when he said you that he wants to kiss you and this will be his birthday gift. That emotional conflict where, one, you wanted to feel it and; second, you think it’s incorrect and then you finally let go. That break-up that simply broke you down, and you see darkness all around. And finally the man in your life, he come and hold your hand for your life with love so much, you always could imagine.
The people that you have lost in the way, those who will not come back, and have never aged after you saw them last, brings tears to eyes. Loss is a part of life. That tear we shed for the people who left us, in the darkness of night and the pain that pierces the heart is uncomprehending. These are losses that cannot be replaced and when we are back and go to the place from where it all started, we still feel their presence.
There are time when you think, enough of all, I will leave everything and go back. You pack your bags, take your belongings, and open the door, and you hear a voice from behind – ‘’ Papa, I need you besides me, I cannot sleep without you,’’, you turn back and look at your child. You lift her in your arms and return. You life is no more yours, you now live for them. As far as Karma goes, it repeats itself- ‘’ You had your life and you have your past past, now, you will create memories for these little one’s, and long after you are gone, they will always cherish you in their memories, and live in the world on the foundation and principles that you have laid for him.